I was checking my email earlier and came across this gem. I’m getting soft and removed the name and number (in case my competitors are reading and want to get in contact with them.) I was going to just post it but I’ve decided to add my own retarded commentary below in bold. Enjoy!
Hello, my name is [removed] and I am a Internet marketing professional. I had done a Google search under the keyword total jobs and had run across your website https://01100111011001010110010101101011.co.uk. I see that you are not listed on the first page of Google for your particular search. True, it’s a vital term for me and my business.
I am not sure if you’re aware of why you’re ranked this low but more importantly how easily correctable this is. Really? Tell me more!
There’s no reason that you can’t have top three rankings for the keyword total jobs based on your website structure and content. You have a very nice site. Top three rankings! You think? Lil old me?! I mean my website is quite nice and my content is extremely related to total jobs!
What you need is high quality one-way anchor text links. I can help you with this….. I suppose I do need some help and you’re here to provide it!
Not only can I get you ranked for the keyword total jobs but I am talking about all of your keywords on top of Google. Adding new high quality PR anchor-text links from the highest quality websites will produce the results and business you want for https://01100111011001010110010101101011.co.uk. HighqualityPRanchortextlinksman to the rescue! All of my keywords top of Google?! Now I can rank for terms like brown kettle, white fence and crystal heels!
The right kind of links are crucial in getting top ranking… and I can hand deliver these quality links to you. By mail, van or delivery pigeon?
My partners and I own 1000’s of websites and offer private linking to hundreds of website owners just like yourself. This sounds safe. I mean they are controlled and private. I’m definitely going to buy this service.
I didn’t send this email out to very many people but I do favor your website because I can see your website monetizing the targeted website traffic for the keyword total jobs can deliver. I am targeting the keyword total jobs! I feel like this person really knows me and understands my needs.
I have your contact information and phone number. Would it be okay if I were to give you a call? Where the fuck did you get that from??
I have a very simple way to prove to you that what I do works risk free for you to try. Nothing beats seeing the results with your own eyes. Apparently all I have to do is always be logged in to my Gmail account when I search for my terms and I’m will always number one!
Would it be okay if I were to give you a call? I would love to pursue this further over the phone with you or should I go somewhere else? Where the fuck else would you go?
Sincerely,
[removed]
(xxx) xxx-xxxx
P.S.- if the tables were turned and somebody I didn’t know came to me with a proposition, even one that was appealing, I would be hesitant because I would be wondering – what’s the catch? What does this person know that I don’t. True, I’d hate be on my deathbed contemplating my life and regret that one time I didn’t get in touch with that friendly link provider. The thought of that regret sends shivers down my spine.
But then again I would think her company does know something that I don’t know. Her company owns 1000’s of websites, her company does have hundreds of thousands of pages indexed with top rankings on Google, Yahoo and Bing. Websites that can deliver only the highest quality anchor-text links that can move your rankings fast. I would also think that I need to get my website in the top rankings. And her company is offering turn key page 1 rankings on all of my keywords including total jobs. Keywords that produce the kind of traffic potentially worth tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions of dollars. Wow. I mean if I wasn’t already sold in the email, I definitely am now after this p.s. section.
Would it be okay to give you a call? Or you can call me anytime at the number above and would be happy to explain how I can benefit you risk free. I’m calling now with my credit card in my hand! HIGHQUALITYPRANCHORTEXTLINKS!!!
Bloody hell how spooky, I just opened my email and got this!
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Hello,
Greetings for the day!
I am XXXXXX and I am contacting you after looking at your website- .
We are a Leading Indian Based SEO & Web Development Company and one of the very few company which offer organic SEO services with a full range of supporting services such as one way themed text links, blog submissions, directory submissions, article writing and postings, etc.
We are a team of 50+ professionals which includes 18 full time SEO experts. We are proud to inform you that our team handled 100+ SEO projects and obtained 40000+ manually built links in the past 1 year.
We will be glad to assist you with offering our services. Please let me know your Interest so that we can tell you more about Our Services.
Thanks
—————-
XXXXXX
Online Marketing Consultant
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Note: – Though this is not an automated email, we keep on sending out these emails to all those people whom we find eligible of using our services.
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I mean 18+ SEO professionals building 40,000 links a year – winner winner chicken dinner – I’m going to out rank you for Total Jobs!!!
I’m warning you bruv, get out of my sector!
My link builder is GUARANTEEING top 3 rankings so good luck!
Dammit! My worst nightmare: other SEOs are starting to target “total jobs”, my highest converting keyword! And even worse, they’ve got Indian SEO companies working for them! I have no chance now 🙁
I get a lot of these, although they never actually quote a keyword search. They often say “we can get you to no.1 for your important keywords” and I have replied to a few, asking “what are my important keywords?” and they never answer. I really do not understand how these “businesses” work as they never reply to emails. Similar emails tell me that they have produced a free SEO report after looking at my site and have some important news for me. I reply “thank you for looking at my site, please send the free report over” and again, they do not respond.