Guest Post

Why I’m Likely Not to Like You in Real Life…

Hey kids! We have another awesome guest post brought to you by Anthony Pensabene. I’m pretty sure the bloke is ripping me on my own website but his writing style is excellent and he brings up some excellent points so it’s staying. 🙂

Are You ‘Marketing’ to Me or…You?

Have you ever met those people who feel like they need to constantly market themselves?  There’s a difference between confidence and raping my ear with self-petting narratives.  I hope you think you’re great with room for improvement…to be mo betta great…each day.  I hope you give yourself a little pat on the back, an extra cookie, or treat yourself to those badass pair of Crocs you always wanted.  Go ahead.  You deserve them.

Let me interrupt your verbal security blanket for a brief intermish – aside from the aforementioned self-concroculatory sentiments, allow others to be your fanboys and girls.  How about this?  You do something with what mama gave ya and we (may) take notice and approve.  Let others send you trophies.

You’re That Jock Guy or Hot Girl

Mannnnnnnnn high school was cool…for four years.  I learned a lot there, like how to sneak out at lunch, hangout after school, and talk that fine line between teacher-prodded participation and sarcasm.  I also learned of the Uncle-Rico variety of guys and gals.  Those who are pretty popular in a little microcosm of space and time, but live eons away from the notion the larger world really doesn’t give a hoot they’re a present or former ‘jockie’ or ‘hottie’ in their microcosm, and does not entertain their self-entitled approach to real life.

You’re popular, whether that’s because we’re sheep, you do a couple things well in this infinite world of possibilities, or your popularity is what’s popular and not so much you.  (Remember Ronald ‘McDonald’ Miller?  He wasn’t so ‘McDreamy’ to chicks once he wasn’t so popular, was he?)  Be humble.

You’re Selective

Do you ever notice those people that will like something or do something if it ultimately serves their reputation or vanity?  They’re selective, like people are commodities to them, entities of leverage rather than equality.  You can almost hear the “you are so last year” or “please spray me with your opportunity juice” or nothing, just silent-snubbing (because some people wouldn’t be caught dead in ‘WalMart’) subtitles emanating through speech and actions.

It’s kind of strange to think one can so adamantly champion some, as if they really love ‘hugging-up’ on people, yet ignore others.  What is it then?  What is it that gets one so stoked or so stone-faced toward others?  Because deeds are attached to princes or paupers to be celebrated or shunned?  Be one who laughs and cries with both parties.

You’re Not Golden, Ponyboy

Before Ralph Macchio was crane-kicking his way into our hearts, he was in the bromantic-everyone must read this book in middle school-drama, The Outsiders.  While writhing and dying under Hollywood set lights, Ralph lets a little eighties-meme gold roll of his mind: “Stay gold, Ponyboy.” Maybe it was the bar-none dramatic excellence of Macchio, maybe it was because he and Ponyboy’s character previously read Robert Frost’s Nothing Gold Can Stay poem, maybe it was the appellation of “Ponyboy” given to a teen-aged boy, but it stuck.

If you read the poem (I expect a full five-paragraph essay from all of you), you’ll notice that Rob was pretty much getting at staying pure, genuine, and other warm-fuzzy feeling kind of words and sentiments.  Be the Delirious and Raw Eddie Murphy.  And stay on your game.  Keep that newborn feeling regardless of your progress or present station.  People liked Ponyboy, people like when others ‘stay gold.’

“Anthony Pensabene” is a personality created by the algorithms. It writes at Content Muse and wherever programmed to do so on the internetz. The shade of Anthony’s online self lives in Colorado and has a lot of fun being active, enjoying the company of good people, and Scotch’in it up in Aspen.

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5 comments on “Why I’m Likely Not to Like You in Real Life…

  1. Please spray me with your opportunity juice.

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  2. Were you reading my mind recently Anthony?

    Even at 31 years young I still see this type of behavior by those whom call themselves adults… Gets worse on the interwebz when someone starts to think they are some type of online celebrity. “Oh, hey look at me. I have 5,678 followers. I’m too busy to answer your mentions.” Guarantee more than half of those are spam accounts or inactive.

    Just be yourselves. Have some fun. Stop shoving sticks up your ass and acting like puppets. Does that sum it up?

    BTW, sup with the function text underneath the comment box Sean?

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    1. Hey Michael, thanks for dropping by 🙂

      I think there is a definite follower to twat ratio. I feel it in my bones every time I get another follower. “MUST DESIST TWATISHNESS…” Unfortunately I can’t help it but some can resist the temptation.

      I’ve generally found that the more interesting people are usually the ones with lower follower counts, probably because they, you know do stuff, live their life etc.

      The issue with comments is to do with the do follow comment plugin installed. I can’t be bothered to look into the error 🙂

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    2. Thanks for the read, Michael! – always appreciated to get your perspective.. wait to you get to 33, then the sarcasm really sets in .. haha. Glad we see online eye to online eye on this.. down with ass puppets up with letting our talking heads be who they really are in our hearts.. that’s coming from Colorado Anthony, not the interwebz one…

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  3. “follower to twat ratio”

    I’m going to keep posting MERCH OPPORTUNITY in the comments section until we make it a reality. The profits could go to charity or something. If the Onion can do it….

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