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Published on February 18th, 2012 | by 011100110110010

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The Secret Diary Of An Inbound Marketer

Today I’m delighted to announce another guest post from an award winning, high profile inbound marketer. Quite understandably we have had to keep their identity secret in case it caused an issue with their current clients and employer.

9:00 – I get to work, turn my computer on and login to my Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin and Klout accounts to see whether anyone has said anything about me or whether my industry friends have released anything useful. They haven’t. I discuss a few SEO issues with people and say good morning to the celebrity inbound marketers. I find it’s easy to be liked when you are always friendly. I tweet something about creating quality content and 5 people retweet it. With my personal brand increased, I’m ready to work!

10:00 – I read Hacker News for a while and pretend that I know what people are writing about. I open a few articles in separate tabs, scan them for a minute or two before closing them. Sometimes I tweet about articles that I semi understand, I feel smart, I’m passing on value to the community and I’m educating people. They really are fortunate to follow me.

11:00 – I check yesterdays traffic details for my personal blog, I usually do this earlier in the day but today I’ve been really busy. The industry really liked my last post on “Link Building for Professionals”. I’m not 100% sure why as all I wrote about was guest blogging. I didn’t even mention how to get in contact with people (that shit’s hard lol!) or write a case study on it (fortunately as my clients ranking results actually dropped!) I think I’ll be ready soon to write a post for Youmoz. If I’m lucky it will be promoted to the main blog, everyone will know who I am then!

12:00 – I open up a word doc and think about how I can add even more value to my clients than I already am. I decide this isn’t possible, close the word doc and go to lunch (prosciutto and mozzarella panini with a red thai chicken soup.)

13:00 – I come back to my desk to find I’ve lost a follower. Why does this shit always happen to me? Maybe I wasn’t as nice as I thought earlier? I go through my excel sheet which includes all of my followers and compare it to the list on Twitter. That prick. I never really thought he brought that much to the community anyway. He doesn’t even have a content strategy and I heard he still believes exact keyword domains make a difference! I know! His loss.

14:00- I make a note to get in touch with one of my clients about getting him to write quality content for his website. The guy is an astronaut but I’m sure he has plenty of time doing nothing in space. Once he gets back I think I’ll have a word with him to buck his ideas up, I mean all he has to do is write an intriguing title to get the mug to the page. Once they get there I’m sure they’ll convert.

15:00 – I go to Inbound and see something about SEO Anti-Heroes. I’m not interested initially as I don’t agree or enjoy reading about black hat stuff. I click through to the site and instantly wonder why I bothered. I dislike the URL, the stupid picture on the right and the general tone of the site. I try to read the post and struggle to fathom why anyone has commented positively on it. The Dark Knight was shit, Jack Nicholson was a better Joker and that guy really isn’t the best looking man in the world. I leave the site bemused and vow to never return. I consider tweeting about the article in a negative light but decide better of it. That #OccupyInbound group are a bit unpredictable and vocal, I’m not sure I want them to rip my content apart and tarnish my reputation.

16:00 – I get a call from a client. I let it ring so that they can leave a message, don’t they understand that I am inbounding over here?! I open my powerpoint doc and re-read the presentation that I have done in case I ever get asked to speak at SES London. I make a note to add a slide on how social media links definitely influence rankings but then delete it when I remember my case study is hugely flawed. I’ve got some great ideas about producing quality content in niche areas via link outreach. I just need a platform. I tweet Danny Sullivan again with a link to my slideshare, I think he’s blocked me.

17:00 – I listen to the message, the client is unhappy. I start to compose an email and put together a great answer for why their overall traffic has gone down despite spending £10,000 a month on their online marketing campaign. I write about seasonality, grab Google trends graphs to explain that the sector has had less interest in comparison to previous years and make up a Google algorithm change. Inbound marketing is so much easier than SEO! I sit and wonder why SEOmoz didn’t invent it sooner, go back to Twitter and delete my client’s email. They’ll call back.

18:00 – Tonight I’m pulling a late one, I know, no rest for the wicked! It’s time to tone it down a little before going home so I decide to do a bit of reading/research. I have a list of articles to read through, sometimes I make notes as I’ve got a bad memory but today I don’t bother. I find one post particularly interesting and useful, I think I’ll copy it and chuck it in an article spinner. 2 minutes later and it’s on my blog. I tweet about it (Article Klaxon!!! lol!) close down my computer and take the chance to catch a breath. Todays been a good day!

 

Well thanks alot to our mystery guest for posting today! They are willing to answer questions below so if you have any thoughts/queries don’t hesitate in asking!

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The Secret Diary Of An Inbound Marketer, 10.0 out of 10 based on 6 ratings

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About the Author

One day I will make a living out of this industry, until then I'll carry on writing here.



54 Responses to The Secret Diary Of An Inbound Marketer

  1. HOW DARE YOU. I can’t believe you would poke fun at Inbound Marketers like that. I’ll have you know that I work just as hard as anyone else in any other industry – including electricians, nightclub doormen and barbers. For example, yesterday I went above and beyond. I didn’t just open a bunch of Hacker News articles – but – GET THIS – I posted my client’s web page to the “Funny” section of reddit because I knew it would get MAD traffic there. Unfortunately some git’s downthumbs’d it so I added my client’s website to Stumbleupon instead. Would you believe it?! 25 visits today alone!! Of course the average time on site was 0:01 but I think that’s because people were shocked by how awesome our content was and they had to avert their eyes.

    Anyways, I’ll also have you know that today I did some link building for my clients. In fact, this is it right now. I’m leaving a comment on this blog. It’s called relationship building and one day I just KNOW that you will contact me because I left such an insightful comment here and you will tell me how bad you want me to write content for your super awesome internet blog. I might even say yes, if you’re lucky enough to let me post my “great content” on your blog.

    Well, gotta go do some more work – my Hotpocket is beeping in the microwave and I need to spend the next 10 minutes blowing on it until it is edible.

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    • ^^ This guy knows what’s up.

      But as one of Matt Cutts’ biggest fans, I’m deeply offended. You have no idea how hard I work telling people that quality content is the best thing since sliced bread, and how link spam hasn’t worked since 2005.

      You trashing this lifestyle (which is remarkably similar to mine) is not cool man. Not cool.

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      • I think you might be confused Mr Guaranteed Results. The post was written to give insight into the daily life of an inbound marketer not to slate it!

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    • “Of course the average time on site was 0:01 but I think that’s because people were shocked by how awesome our content was and they had to avert their eyes.”

      I find this often happens. The sheer quality of the content just causes the user to panic and they close the page instantly.

      I’m sorry but there is no chance that I would ever ask you to guest post on this website. I heard that you believe exact keyword domains STILL influence rankings? Fool.

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  2. Chris says:

    Wow this guy works really hard he seemed to take less than an hour for lunch. Very dedicated

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    • My sources tell me that he never sleeps. Just constantly churning out quality content. Amazing.

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  3. Ha. I knew this was a spoof from the first paragraph, when the guy says he starts searching for mentions of himself at 9 a.m. Hell, by that time each morning I’ve already downed a pint of whiskey because by 6 a.m. I know there weren’t any!

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    • Whisky is the link juice of productivity, Mark.

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      • Quality Content = Quality Links = Quality Link Juice = Quality Whiskey = Quality Alcoholism

        Or something.

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        • The only thing I get drunk on is the link juice from the QUALITY HIGH PR LINKS that I get from my content marketing strategy. Why, last year alone I guest posted on three different blogs in my niche. You want to talk about sustainable link building? Be where I be, see what I saw, learn from me.

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          • Sustainable QUALITY HIGH PR LINK JUICE on tap! Now you’re talking!

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  4. Nick LeRoy says:

    You’ve given away my success strategy! I’m going to complain about this to my Twitter friends now!

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    • Sorry Nick, I knew this post would put a few noses out of joint but that’s the risk I have had to take when striving for quality. Remember on Twitter be nice and friendly and people will like you.

      #value

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      • I think I am going to write a blog post called “On Twitter Be Nice and Friendly And People Will Like You”. Sentence one:

        Are you being a dick on Twitter? Well quit it, ya dummy!

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  5. Chris says:

    Dear inbound marketer,

    Which moleskine do you use for your notes… I prefer the large Star Wars limited edition Notebook it’s like the one I saw Matt Cutts carrying at Pubcon in 2009

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  6. I am really fascinated about this guy. The only thing I dislike is he has a too normal life, standard 9am-6pm with one hour lunch.
    And you can’t, if you are a real inbound marketer, because I read inbound marketing posts and articles even at 11pm before going to bed, or I read them in a big screen instead of watching a for-sure-boring movie, and sometimes even my girlfriend enjoys them.

    So, I think he has some things to do yet before becoming a real and cool inbound marketer. Less boring, live more the great wave of inbound marketing.

    thanks for sharing this anyway, and cheers to all 01100111011001010110010101101011erz.

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    • Alessio this is an excellent point and if I ever get another chance to chat with the secret inbound marketer I might see what he does in his spare time (remember the goal of the article was to talk about his working day)

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  7. “I open my powerpoint doc and re-read the presentation that I have done in case I ever get asked to speak at SES London.”

    This guy is a sucker! Someone should tell him that the only way to speak at conferences is to write a bunch of “5 INSANELY SUCCESSFUL ways to…” and tweet/post the links 5 times a day. Wash rinse and repeat until 5 people upvote the article! Don’t worry if no one comments, it just means they’re so intimidated by your knowledge and they don’t want to embarrass themselves.

    I call it my 5-5-5 plan.

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    • Interesting tactic Ryan… I don’t suppose you are looking for a guest post opportunity?

      I find that alot of people are intimidated to comment on some of my more technical posts like Lolling @ Search Queries (http://01100111011001010110010101101011.co.uk/2012/02/lolling-at-search-queries/) and Filetype:xls SEO (http://01100111011001010110010101101011.co.uk/2012/01/filetype-xls-seo/)

      I hope that one day they get over their anxieties. The aim of this blog is to educate after all.

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      • I’ll only guest blog as long as I become more famous, but NOT more mainstream. Mainstream bloggers are THE WORST. Famously controversial is where it’s at.

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        • I can guarantee that you will become more famous but I can’t promise you won’t become mainstream. Unfortunately the high profile of this website will make anyone who posts on it an instant star.

          If you can live with being an SEO rockstar (the money, the women and the respect) then give me a shout and I’ll see what we can do.

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  8. Hmmm. I mean, I’m never on a shortage of money or women, but I’m so damn under respected. Let’s talk.

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  9. Kane Jamison says:

    There’s a distinct lack of email subscription CTA on this site. Quit inbounding and get yourself an aweber account, or enable feedburner email. Otherwise I’m gonna have to rely on @cstechjoel to tweet every 01100111011001010110010101101011 article to me…

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    • Chris says:

      If Sean had an aweber account you’d be spammed with Warrior Forum affiliate offers everyday plus aweber told him to have all his 5.6billion fans on a list it would cost $300million a month

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    • Top right bruv…

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  10. After downing my third bottle of wine I’m ready to respond with shock & awe!

    I’m passionate about Community. I help brands to leverage online platforms and my team spend at least one whole hour a day working!

    Our reports are cool and consice. That’s a fact. They’re so cool that we once fitted one on to a post-it note. The client loved it because the yellow matched their brand. Tell me that’s not cool?

    Mavericks like me and other massively famous (known in every home) Inbound Marketers are the future of the Web.

    I’m off to buy the Yew Nork Jats.

    That’s how I roll. Big cigars.

    Don’t for get to follow my blog: http://www.maynervedia.com/blog

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    • Chris says:

      I hope to emulate you one day

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    • “Our reports are cool and consice. That’s a fact. They’re so cool that we once fitted one on to a post-it note. The client loved it because the yellow matched their brand. Tell me that’s not cool?”

      Now that is some true outside of the box thinking. I’ll put you in touch with the secret inbound marketer. I feel he could do with your guidance.

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      • I would love to but I don’t think I can teach him the Gaynerchuk “hustle”

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  11. Jon Cooper says:

    19:00 should be: Time to sit down and watch a Nicholas Cage movie! He’s such a good actor.

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    • Nicolas Cage says:

      Jon,
      Are you being sarcastic? I am a diverse actor and my IMDB profile will prove this. There are very few (if any) other actors who can pull off the aggressive nature Ghost Rider, the sensitive character from Family Man and finally the uber-cool aura of Memphis Raines in Gone in Sixty Seconds. I DO NOT like your attitude and if you’re not careful Johnny Blaze will find you!

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  12. Love this. It’s about time that our industry had a Stephen Colbert! Nice work. :)

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    • Thanks for the kind words Jonathon but I’m just a silly boy who owns a silly blog :)

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  13. Jon says:

    I always suspected that my marketing people were just surfing the web and chatting with “friends” online and this blog seems to support that idea!

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    • The opportunity to skive whilst online is just too much for some people to take!

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  14. Branko says:

    Ha! You should add another entry:

    19:00: Just got pinged about a great article about Inbound Marketing. Opened it in my iPad in the loo, it was this satirical post about what inbound marketer does all day. That dude is such a loser. I don’t understand how some people in this industry make money at all. It would be funny to compare the satirical post with what I do every day to make sure that the newcomers to the industry don’t get confused. I wonder whom the post was based on. Not me, obviously, but whom? Ah, we may never know.

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    • Haha, cheers Branko :)

      I am currently in discussions with the secret inbound marketer about whether he can give us an insight into his personal life so hopefully it won’t be the last that we hear from him.

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  15. Rick Noel says:

    Nice post secret agent 011100110110010. Internet marketing, or Inbound Marketing as HubSpot has the industry calling it these days (==marketing prowess++) is alive and well. The daily diary format is awesome and the satire cuts close to the truth in many aspects. Congrats to being voted to #1 in inbound.org Hot Articles list (at the time of this comment submission). Now back to “inbound marketing” … is it time yet to check yesterday’s traffic details for my personal blog … ?;-)

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    • Nick Roel says:

      Don’t worry Rick Noel, I, Nick Roel, ensure you that getting to #1 on Inbound.org was no accident. It was the work of a top secret group of ruffians whose names shall remain anonymous.

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      • Now that I know for certain that getting to #1 on Inbound.org was a coordinated conspiracy, I am going to use my shoe phone to call agent 99 :-) Next, I might even contact wiki leaks!

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  16. Iain says:

    I like this. It makes me feel warm, fuzzy and useful. On the inside. Very clever.

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  17. Chris says:

    I think that describes the typical day in the life of the New Internet Marketer. It has become all about “Self-Promotion” as opposed to helping the client. When you are in it for only yourself it becomes a different kind of monster. It becomes a “lifeless” inanimate object that has you repeating the same boring tasks over and over again without actually getting much done.

    I am actually Reading Gary Vaynerchuk’s book “Crush It” at the moment, and sure it’s a bit hyped up, but I think he, (and the hundreds before him) are right, in that you need to love what you do to be happy and not fall into a meaningless cycle. It becomes a death spiral that leads to drinking whiskey in the morning, and pissing the day away. Have I found what I love doing? Not really, not yet. One day maybe, but I change what I like every 6 months lol (yay adhd).

    Anyways, great reflection on the life of an Inbound marketer. I think in the end it really shows the apathy that has become the new marketing industry standard.

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  18. iDCx says:

    darn – 19.05 and ive lost a follower too! Man i hate this sh!t

    although 01010101 approve my comment and ive made a link – phew – I thought this day was going to be all bad news!

    iDCx

    13:00 – I come back to my desk to find I’ve lost a follower. Why does this shit always happen to me?

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  19. OMG – is somebody watching me? This is my day on paper – how could they have known that I have red thai chicken soup for lunch?

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  20. I have a feeling this guy is a fake, there isn’t even a mention of any keyword research to identify new long-tail search terms to target high-value niche consumers with a above average conversion rate.

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    • Good point! Remember though his day is pretty busy, he can’t do everything!

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  21. James Park says:

    This Inbound Marketer guy is flashing every card. He should be banned from the community for life.

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  22. Pingback: The Secret Diary of a Blue Hat SEO | Teh SEOwner

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  24. Dustin Verburg says:

    Big name brands from around the world blah blah blah me to write yadda yadda yadda and my results have been a series of numbers (which I don’t understand). Look for my e-book, coming soon!

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